In My Mind

In my mind im a fighter I can withsatnd the heart break in my mind my soul snt much to take in my mind it isn't as simple as it seems cuz in mah mind yhu mean everything. I don't want you to mean so much and I don't want to care but you've invaded my mind your everywhere. I wish it wasnt like this. I wish i knew how to avoid falling for you but I cant do that now. Because in my mind my heart and my soul I want to be yours if you will have me. Your everything your only thing this i would do gladly but outside of my mind were the real things go on im not yours yet i stand far alone wishing i could go back in my mind and find the place i left behind because life moves on the way it should and dreams stay dreams wether for bad or good. I miss you when your not around and I am happiest when your by my side even if only as a friend. Read my thoughts and protect me from myself I might fall in love but you might leave my heart on a shelf.

I Hate My Life

i hate everything about my life especially the ignorant people in it

I just Moved I'm sick and miserable

I just moved I'm sick and Miserable

I'm a Happy Runaway

There is no such thing as pure happiness it is impossible to achieve unless you have the thought that everything in your life is perfect but it can't be because someone will only end up hurting you or stabbing you in the back. Full of nightmares and monsters it's too late for most people because they only expect the worst out of people like me. I can't see all the good in people because most people are evil. So when I meet someone who is a true friend I push them away or purposely piss them off. I wish I could start my life over and redo things that make my life a living nightmare because it is one. So for the rest of my life I'm just a happy runaway on the track to find pure happiness.

I live to please

I've just made a great realization I hate my family but I like them occasionally. I would be sad if they died but I wouldn't be sad if I killed them. Is this making any sense? I wish they were out of my life but would be sad if they were gone forever this is a blog full of contradictions. And I made it through today without trying to kill somebody(figuratively)granted I was sleep most of the day but hey its a major break through for me so I might just celebrate.

I Wish I Was Dead

I wish I was dead. this is not a figure of speech I really wish I was dead. no one would miss me to everyone I'm hust the person who messes up at everything, the one who will never be good enough, the one who will amount to nothing so I wish I was deadbecausee no one loves me and I'm always looking for approval. to the world I am dead.

Becoming a Stereotype

Is it possible to become a sterotype? I mean some people were born like that for example: all rich people are snobs... I was thinking that if you tell someone what they are or you judge them they become the thing that you said they are. For instance my mom is always calling me and my sister and my baby brother smart (not that I'm complaining) but when it comes to my other brother and he brings home his report card or something it's all F's D's and C's. At first I was mad about it because she told me that in no way in hell was I to EVER bring those grades home so I didn't. So my brother, who has ADHD, I guess decided to prove her wrong and show her he wasn't an idiot he brought home A's and B's.

Do you know what the first thing she asked him was? She asked him if he had bribed his teacher. Now I was like damn you didn't even say congratulations or good job or something equally encouraging. The next report card he got his old grades again.

So that's what I was thinking about was it possible with all the discouragement she was showing around him was he becoming the stereotype that just because he has an illness he's dumb. Or does he just want some kind of approval?